The Sitting Room

Party Plates Not Included

admin — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 15:47:26 +0000

In my lovely state of Ohio if you get caught drinking and driving you could be ordered to install bright orange license plates on your vehicle. The plates are hard to miss. When you have them you might as well have a neon sign saying. “I have a drinking problem.” Someone has affectionately given these orange plates the term “party plates” as the driver obviously likes to party.
I confess, when I see people driving down the road with this kind of plate I immediately put both hands on the wheel and wait for them to go left of center.

Sometimes, I have wondered if it might be helpful if people had signs like these. For instance, a bright red sign means ”I must always be right don’t argue with me or I swear a lot…be ready to cover your ears.” Or, a neon yellow sign says ”I am co-dependent if you want me to call you every hour on the hour go ahead and give me your cell phone number.”

I grew up in a Christian school and church with people who tried to live as if their lives were perfect. If there were issues in their lives they did the best they could to keep them covered up. Heaven forbid, if YOU had an issue and others became aware of it! Just like me avoiding those orange plates, it wouldn’t be out of the ordinary for people to avoid you… like somehow your problems might be contagious.

Sometimes I think we should have to wear signs. Maybe then we’d be forced to be honest with each other and, after all, honesty is the first step toward healing.

Now, thank heaven,I go to a church that is very real with sin issues and cultivates an environment where we can be honest with each other about our struggles. It is so much more helpful to have people who truly know you and are able to pray for you and with you about your daily problems. And when we’re all wearing our “party plates” for others to see it also shows us that we are not alone. We all come with “caution” signs. But the love of Christ allows us to proceed beyond the caution sign to love the person beneath.

You won’t see my “plate” on the radio, but listen long enough you will learn some of my issues. Trust me it won’t take you very long to figure them out and I hope that you’ll still love me because I know God does. And I’ll listen to you, openly and without judgement because I know His heart is for all of us to get beyond the “plates” to the person.

Grandpa’s Teeth

admin — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 15:40:18 +0000

We’ve all heard versions of the innocent faux paux. You’re with your extended family and a child asks Grandpa “are those your real teeth?” There’s a brief moment of awkwardness, then Grandpa graciously says “No, they’re not – would you like to see them?” Everyone laughs and the story is told for years to come. There’s no anger because the question is asked innocently and without guile; simply a lack of maturity and discretion.

This happened to me recently when an adult family member asked me “do you consider yourself a Christian?” The person asking attends church and is a Christian. Other family members sat in silence waiting for my answer which tells me that in my absence my spiritual walk was a topic of conversation. Even more curious to me is that I believe it was asked in response to learning about my participation on The Sitting Room with Kathy Chiero. I know (and actually enjoy the fact) that many family members probably said in bewilderment… “what is Kathy thinking?!?”

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am happy that they wanted to lead me to the Lord before I began co-hosting a Christian radio show.

When I’m asked a question, I wonder if it is being asked because the answer is unknown or a cloak for an assumption already in place? In this case I believe it was the latter. I wasn’t upset because, like Grandpa’s teeth, it wasn’t mean spirited. I was told the question was being asked because I never talk with them about spiritual things. But I think, in truth, it was because I don’t live by their perception of what a Christian is, does, and says. While I’m not critical of how they live their lives and I believe we are each responsible to work out our own salvation, our definitions of “spiritual things” may differ. I don’t salt my conversation with “praise the Lords and God is Goods.” While I attend church, I don’t attend every Sunday. I enjoy beer and cigars. I don’t have bumper stickers on my car and I don’t wear Jesus jewelry. But I do talk about spiritual things. I don’t say “I’m believing God for more time with my children” but I do talk about how much I love my children and look forward to my time with them. Is that not spiritual? I don’t quote scripture in daily conversation, but I regularly give of my carpentry skills to those who have a need, quietly and without fanfare. Is that not spiritual? I don’t say “I’m praying for God to bring me a wife.” I say “I sure would like to find the right woman for me.” I believe the spiritual nature of all these things is overlooked because I don’t speak in the Christian vernacular.

So what is a Christian? The easy answer is to be Christ-like. We have a picture of Christ as a gentle, meek and passive man. But Jesus also called the religious of his day not-so-kind names. He showed impatience when a debate broke out about who would sit at His right hand. Jesus turned over tables in the temple – which, if He did today, would result in destruction of property charges and land Him in anger management classes requiring Him to pay restitution. And let’s not forget my favorite miracle eliminating a wine run at a wedding by turning the water into wine because scripture says they drank it all.

Actually, the question was an answer to prayer. I now had the topic of my first blog. It is a snapshot of the vision for The Sitting Room. I believe that the Church has an established blueprint about what a Christian is. And I also believe that there is a throng of believers who have become disenfranchised because their lives don’t match the blueprint. They do one of two things. They either hide behind a façade or they break away from the fold. If you stay, many times honesty becomes secondary to maintaining the facade. I refuse to live behind a façade. I have broken away and am still trying to figure out how I fit in.

I am very thankful that my friend Kathy does not wear “church goggles” and saw the true spiritual nature of my walk with God. She told me I was fine. God still had a plan for me and part of that plan is here on The Sitting Room.

Will I be in church this Sunday? I might. But I might be fishing with my kids or taking Curt to a Redskins game. (Amy doesn’t want to go to the game – she thinks football is stupid and the uniforms don’t match.) I believe God smiles on these things.

Journey to a Vision

admin — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 01:27:24 +0000

The radio show you are listening to was “born” two decades ago. Yes. Two decades. Meaning 20 years. A score. I was in the middle of an enjoyable career in television. I had graduated to television from an enjoyable career in radio. That is a not-so-unusual trajectory. A communications-inclined broadcaster starts in radio and, if they are attractive (yes this is true, and two decades ago I was…to more people than my love-is-blind family members) they often move on to television. So my body moved on, but my heart was always in radio.

I love radio for alot of reasons – it’s intimacy, it’s ability to allow the “commoner” to participate in mass communication, the creative possibilities of sound and sound effects. On and on. But mainly I love talking to people. I love your stories. I love hearing where you came from, how you got here, where you wish you were and where you hope to be.

One of my assignments as a reporter for The 700 Club television show was to find and interview someone who “came over on the boat” through Ellis Island to become an American. I scoured the public records of New York City (this was pre-internet) and found a woman – then in her late 80′s who came over from Europe to her new home. I took a taxi to her home – the 62nd floor of an unassuming New York City high rise. I spent a wonderful 3 hours in the tiny apartment of this woman – her home for over 50 years. She told me with clarity and passion of her journey to our shores, her first glimpse of Ellis Island, her love for America, her cherished citizenship. She seemed thrilled to tell the story, grateful to have been asked.

As I walked the concrete away from her high-rise – I looked up, trying to identify the window that was hers. I scanned the windows and I thought “behind every one there is a story.” Yes, that’s really how I think. Then and Now.

In months to come I’ll finish the story of how I got here. But I want to find your window. I want to hear your story. Call me. or post your own blog. I really love this.

February 19,2012 Is God Necessary to Be Moral?

Kathy — Sat, 19 Feb 2011 01:29:59 +0000

What is morality? Can a person have a strong moral character…and not believe in God? Our guests include Dr. Frank Moore, Professor of Theology and Author of “Dismantling the Myths… The Connection between Faith and Morality and Matt Casper … a good man, and atheist.

February 12, 2012 Religious Abuse…Power from the Pulpit Misused

Kathy — Sat, 12 Feb 2011 01:22:36 +0000

What happens when the power from the pulpit is misused? Have you ever felt manipulated, abused, or humiliated by someone in spiritual authority? You’re not alone – We talk with Jack Watts…author of “Recovering from Religious Abuse – 11 steps to Spiritual Freedom” Click on the Link (Date on this page, Link inside) to Listen on Demand. Please allow time for Audio to Load

February 5, 2012 Going it Alone: Single Dads

Kathy — Sat, 05 Feb 2011 11:30:53 +0000

Single Moms get a holiday…what do single Dads get? Not alot of recognition – but the love of their children. We will talk with Mike Klumpp who wrote a survival guide for the single dad. Click on the date (above) to Listen on Demand. Please allow time for Audio to Load

Do we have to have a swimming pool?

Kathy — Wed, 19 May 2010 15:48:07 +0000

I thought we were “moving up”. So did my husband. And we thought our kids wanted to “move up”. My husband had just accepted a promotion at work and he always wanted a pool in the backyard. Not a blow-up kind, or the above-ground kind, but a real in-the-ground pool like we saw on all those real estate shows. The home we lived in was fine – it had all the “home” prerequisites – a roof, windows, two bathrooms and a finished basement. But one day we drove by the home with the pool. And a “for sale” sign. It was more money than we wanted to spend …but, what the heck, what are promotions for except to allow you to enjoy the perks that go along with the increased income? And what are kids for except to give the perks that we never had growing up? Or so we thought.

We moved in. Each day we could look out our back window and see the big 20 x 40, 33,000 gallon “Perk” – our own swimming pool. One day my 8-year-old son came in with a towel wrapped around his body and a scowel wrapped around his face. “What’s wrong?” I asked? “Why can’t we have a back yard like everyone else?” he said. “This pool takes up the whole back yard and there’s no where to play ball.” I had to admit that the “perk” was becoming a problem. It was alot of work, alot of money, and yes, I missed having a yard.

I often think of that when I pray for all the things I think I really want. I look at it two ways – one, the spoiled child who gets what others could only dream about …and it’s not enough. And from the perspective of the parent: I got what I thought I wanted but it comes with it’s own set of drawbacks and problems.

It teaches me to be grateful for what I have – maybe it’s not what I think I want this minute – but it’s what God has provided for me. And it keeps me from always wanting more – knowing that more “things” come with more problems, more responsibility, more maintenance. God knows what I need and what I can manage. God help me be at peace with those things.